Ambrose Bierce

"Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."

J. B. Priestley

"She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years."

Fran Lebowitz

"You're only as good as your last haircut."

Norman Douglas

"Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it."

Lillian Gordy Carter

"Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons."

Noel Coward

"If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday."

Charles Bukowski

"I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life."

Thomas A. Edison

"The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around."

Robert Wilson Lynd

"Most human beings are quite likeable if you do not see too much of them."